The Hug.

He woke up at about 5 a.m.

He didn’t sleep well. He was dreaming and thinking about what is going to happen the next day, until he fell asleep which he didn’t know when.

He was planning on what to speak and what not to speak and what to do and what not to do. He was feeling anxious and excited. He was feeling happy and sad. It was a beautiful and a horrible feeling. He had goosebumps by his very own thoughts.

It was a trance state.

He was dreaming…

As soon as he woke up, he went on to continue his morning chores. He was smiling while brushing , smiling while having his coffee and smiled a bit more that day.

He felt that he wanted the caress of the nature on that day and so he went for a walk alone. The climate was pleasant with the sun coming up with a bit of fog covering the roads. As the breeze touched him, a million thoughts crossed his minds.

He had a feeling. The universe conspired it to him. The wind, the chirping birds and the sun. Everything seemed to feed him love. He had this giddy optimism about that day.

And what was so special about that day.

?

She was his sunlight. She was the love of his life.

Its been six years since he confessed his love for her.

He was so in love with her that he would do anything to make her feel happy. He was ready to sacrifice his biggest dream , just to be with her and hug her and kiss her.

She was his journey, aim and destination.

But what was he to her? He thought he would finally find the answer to that question on that day.

For six years, he had gone through heaven and hell. For six years, he had gone through all the dramas and problems with her. For six years, he supported her through her thick and thin.

It was on for a month and then off for six months. And then on again and then off for about a year. Yet he had never given up on her.

He always had hope that ‘one day’ will change everything. He hoped that some day they will both watch the sun shine on the them together and happily ever after.

And on that day he felt that the universe conspired to him , ‘This is the day!’

Their families were friends, as in his father and her father were great friends and same with mothers. Her family was about to visit his home today and she promised to come.

It was off between them for about an half a year. He was so depressed and low most of his days. He felt like crap and was so hard on himself. He belittled himself for these happenings. Nevertheless, he was excited about the fact they were going to meet after a long time.

He always believed in this line from ‘The Shashawnk Redemption’ , “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good things ever die.” and so he hoped.

Oddly time seemed to move real slow around him that day. He was waiting and waiting and waited more. His eyes were fixed on the clock. He often checked his phone for time. Time became relative and it was relatively slow to him.

He prayed for an time machine then. He went on to take a bath and dressed decently. He was applying creams and perfumes and even aftershaves. His mom noticed his unusual activities and smiled at him. He smiled back with a josh in his face.

It was 10. It was time. She would be here any minute he thought and and the thought made him smile indefinitely.

She was one her way. She, her Mom and Dad were en route via bus. She was wearing a pink stripped white tops that day. Recently she had cut her hair which suited her and she looked pretty.

She was staring through the bus window through her black eyes which reflected whatever she saw. She had a pointy nose and small smirk always on the corner of her lips.

Nobody knew what she thought, did or felt. She was always a mystery to him and people around her.

She is the kind who can become ‘Sherlock Holmes‘ since no one knew what she is upto. Only God and she knows that, if there exists a God.

She was eager to meet him too or so he hoped. They reached his place in the bus and they were walking towards his home.

He was there all nervous and sweating. It was about 10.30 and still they hadn’t arrived. He was worried if she would turn up. Tensions rising inside him and then followed by anxiety which automatically brings in stream of thoughts and negativity.

Amidst all the anxiety , he heard the sound of the door bell. It was her. He was joyous and happy and jumping.

His Mom said ,”Get the door!”.

He had butterflies in his stomach. He had goose flesh. He had his brain tweaked to high senses. He might even throw up.

He took a deep breath and walked towards the door. The door was about 10 to 15 feet from the hall. While walking this 15 feet his mind poured in a million thoughts.

‘What if she hadn’t come?’ ‘What if I fall down while reaching the door?’ ‘What if she doesn’t talk to me?’ ‘What if she slaps me?’

Pondering over all these thoughts with giddy optimism, he reached for the door. And he saw her mom and dad standing at the door graciously smiling. For a brief moment he was in a crisis. The world was all shattering. His adrenaline pumped in. He felt as if he had lost something, a part of him.

But then he saw someone standing behind the both. There she was. Standing in front of him with a wide smile in her face and twinkle in her eyes.

He invited them all inside and waited for her to get inside the house. She was the last to enter the house. While entering she smiled at him and said, “Hi” in a weak tone. He felt a tight clutch in his throat and suddenly he couldn’t speak and he could feel his sweat glands on action.

Seconds felt like hours and with so much effort and forcing himself he replied , “Hey there!”. He followed her inside the house like a kitten following its mom. While entering the hall she turned back slightly and gazed at him and smiled.

He was tranquilized seeing her eyes and smile. Every moment passed like a dream and he had never been so happy in life. They reached the hall. He placed some chairs for them to sit. He pulled a chair nearby her and sat beside her, smiling like an idiot.

His mom and dad arrived. His mom served everyone with coffee and when his mom reached her and handed her with coffee he interrupted and said, “She doesn’t drink coffee, she likes only Coke. Should I get you one?”.

She said, “Nope! I am fine.” He knew her so well.

Everyone was having great conversation. Her Dad and his Dad being friends were engaged in a conversation. His Mom and her Mom being great friends were engaged in a conversation. And there he sat trying to make a conversation, like a teenager trying to ask a girl out for the first time.

Suddenly a text popped up in his phone. It was her. She had sent a text to him whilst sitting at an arm distance. She was the texting type and he was the talking type.

But still it was her! He couldn’t resist. Even though he wanted to have a real conversation with eye contacts, he replied back. It wasn’t the first time they are texting each other while sitting beside. He didn’t get what he wanted , but he was happy with what he got and so they were texting each other.

He took some time before sending each text in the fear that he might bore her. He didn’t wanted to bore her and nor annoy her. He tried hard and hard to come up with topics for a great conversation and there she sat sending quick replies with emojis and one liners.

She was typing even when he didn’t reply and she wasn’t typing anything to him. This made him feel a bit insecure, but he didn’t show it in his face and in his texts.

After an hour or so, they both overcame their inhibitions and started making real conversation abandoning the virtual ones. Both families had great time and they were both sharing about the recent happenings in their respective lives and their plans for what lies ahead.

The families planned to go out to see a palace. His dad suggested that they can book a cab and visit the place and have food and come back home. All agreed. And suddenly she seemed to be completely off.

He texted her and asked what was wrong. She texted back ‘Let’s stay back at home. Please! We need to talk’.

His emotional brain switched on to hope mode again. Questions poured into his mind. ‘Is this it? Will she propose me? Does she love me? Are we gonna make out? Will both our parents let us stay back? Should I deny this?’.

While he was on his deep sea of thoughts she noticed him and again a text popped on his phone.

‘Don’t get anxious and overthink. Its gonna be fine. We need to talk. Please stay back.’ She knew him so well too.

He packed all the courage in his guts and asked both of their parents. “Can we stay back at house? We are not interested on any boring historical palace.”

And both parents did what any sane parents would do. They denied. She jumped into the conversation and she too asked for letting them stay back. Parents were firm but after about half-an-hour of pleading from the both, they allowed them to stay back.

The wait for the moment started. Him with all anxiety and happiness about it. Her with, well she is a mystery. Only she knows how she was feeling.

Finally at about 3’o clock after finishing their lunch and having good conversation , the parents booked a cab and got ready to go out. They gave all the usual instructions to both of them to stay safe and not to do anything stupid.

The cab arrived and parents climbed aboard. Both bid adieu to their parents and as the car passed, his heart started beating at abnormal rates. He could feel his heartbeat without even touching his chest. His heart was thumping and he was sweating like a pig.

She smiled at him and went inside. He thought that he might fade. With all the emotions and hormones pouring in he went inside the house and sat beside her on the floor. They both laid their back on the wall and sat comfortably.

She started initiating conversations now and he didn’t even know how to react most times. This was the first time he was being alone with her and a million thoughts emerged and died at a moment.

He knew that they would be alone for atleast 3 to 4 hours and he didn’t wanted it to be awkwardly silent or with tensions raising on each other.

So he pretended to be normal and acted normal. She knew that he would not be normal, but still she accepted his worse acting of being normal as normal and carried on with the talk.

After about 20 mins of brief talks and awkward silences she asked him,

She: “How can you still love me? After all I have hurt you a lot. Even a week before I told you that I don’t have any feelings for you. But still you are jumping like a kid on my sight. How could you be like that? Have you ever thought of swearing me? “

(He expected that she will talk about this at some point of time. But knowing her for so long he didn’t expect such a straight-forward question from her)

He : To be honest, I don’t know. I always had this crazy hope when it comes to you and us.

(Both were silent for about a minute)

He : But everything is over between us isn’t it?

(His eyes gleamed with tears now)

He : It is over isn’t it?. There is no us. There was no us. There will be no us.

She : I just wanted to be honest with you.

He broke down into tears after hearing that. After all he had been through for her, he felt that it would have been a grand ending today. He felt that the universe conspired to him that it is going to happen today.

He buried his face on her lap and cried harder. He had never cried this harder in his life, not even when he is beloved mother was sick. He cried so hard. Tears streamed from his eyes and reached the earth through his sharp jaws.

He stood up suddenly and wiped his face and turned back and muttered, “I’m okay. Its fine”.

His eyes were tight shut because he felt so embarrassed to break down in front of her.

Then, out of nowhere came an hand. Hand that was as soft as an infants hand. The hand was thin with short nails , wearing a silver chain strapped titan watch. Then came another hand. Both the hand held him by his shoulders and turned him around.

The hands then held his cheeks and the thumbs from both the hands wiped his tears. He heard a familiar voice , but the voice was shaky as in being emotional and that magical , shaky and sweet voice whispered, “I’m here for you and I will never ever hurt you again.”

With that he opened his eyes to see her holding him by his cheeks. Her eyes were watery as well and then it happened.

She hugged him. She hugged him so tight. She buried her face on his chest.

He didn’t expect something like this to happen. All these years of being ON and OFF on this relationship going through so much pain and heartbreaks, he never expected a warm and tight hug from her.

He started crying as well. Tears were raining from his eyes. He was smiling and crying. He didn’t knew if they were the tears of joy or the tears of relief or tears of pain. He could feel the warmth of the hug.

With the warmth of the hug and tears from his eyes all those years of pain, suffering and loneliness diffused. He loved her so much.

---

He woke up. It was about 7 a.m. in the morning and sun was shining through the gaps of the windows.

He woke up with tears in his eyes. He was crying so hard as soon as he woke up.

He was punching the bed and the wall and his hands hurt. He shouted and screamed and cried. Pain, adrenaline and hormones seeped through every nerves in his body.

It was altogether a dream. A dream that happened since he was pondering through the images of her in his gallery for about an hour before sleeping. She told him it was all over and they had a mutual break-up some days before. Though it couldn’t be called ‘mutual break-up’ since she was always a mystery and he never knew if she had feelings for him ever.

It had been a year since she proposed him and then again the ON and OFF cycle went on. They came to an conclusion that they are not compatible in terms of character for each other, although she gave him lame reasons for the break-up.

They were never meant to be together.

Whilst he was going through this emotional turmoil caused by the dream, she was, well nobody knew what she was going through or what she felt.

He could still feel the warmth of that hug from the dream.He touched his heart and he smiled and cried at the same time.

He didn’t wanted such a great moment, such a great feeling, even though it happened only on dreams, to go to waste. He was a writer and a creator.

With tears in eyes and hormones in blood ,he opened his laptop and thought of writing a fictional story based on the dream. He felt that it was the only way that he could remind himself that it was never meant to happen. He wanted to create something from the soaring pain in his heart.

He knew that all of this was his fault. Because he was the one who had crazy hopes on the relationship. He was the only person that wanted this to happen. He was the dreamer. He was the one that went behind her like a kitten.

None of it is her fault, because you know, nobody ever knew what she felt about him. She was a mystery.

He typed ‘wordpress.com’ in his browser and logged on to his blog. He was thinking on what should be the title of this special fiction story. He thought for about 5 to 10 mins or God knew was it 30 mins.

He thought well and typed the title of the story. And the title was,

“The Hug.”