Hoomans I Hate
Humans! Two words that come to my mind when I think about them are ‘insufferable’ and ‘astonishing’.
I can never stop wondering at the precision with which this universe and our planet exists. I mean it is too astounding to be random events resulting in such good precision. Am I telling that I believe in God finally? No! If we can believe that such precision cannot be the result of entropy and has to be a creation from a superior being, we can also believe that entropy can result in such great precision. But, hey stop fighting over Gods. Let’s fight if there is any God. Because all the God argument, I have seen starts with ‘If’.
Idols
Even though the world is made of such grandeur, oftentimes our petty human minds seek and demand the validation of another petty and miserable human. In other words, we look at some of our fellow beings and brand them as our ‘idol’.
Oxford dictionary gives two definitions for the word ‘Idol’.
One is ‘a person who is admired or loved’. Another is ‘a statue that people treat as a god‘. If I understand the semantics of this word right, we are essentially treating a human as ‘God’ just because we seek their validation.
The problem with this is the fact that, the believed to be existing, God would not come and talk to you or influence your decisions in any way. (Well, religion would certainly influence your decisions in a lot of ways. But, for writing’s sake let’s assume this is the real God who doesn’t give a shit about the religious codes that humans created. You know what, let’s assume our God is the turtle that vomited the entire universe. That is my favourite definition of ‘God’ so far. The turtle gives no shit about the universe or your petty life miseries, since it is already fighting the acid reflux from the vomiting.)
But, a human, whom you brand as ‘idol’, whose validation you seek would and can influence and torment you in any ways they want. It’s because when you idolise a person, you necessarily let your guard and rationality down and present your soul for sale.
One of my favourite quotes of all time and something I always try to live by comes from ‘Paper Towns’ written by John Green. (I even have a mobile phone cover with this quote). It goes,
What a treacherous thing it is to believe that a person is more than a person.
John Green as Quentin Jacobson from ‘Paper Towns’
Hoomanize them
And so, in conclusion, it is always trouble when we see people as ‘idols’. We tend to become biased, oversee their flaws, and put them on a pedestal unnecessarily. A idol can be anyone from your father to your girlfriend to Elon Musk. In my experience, idols are always trouble and I have a solution to solve the ‘idol’ problem.
To solve the ‘idol’ crisis all we need is just one human factor that would remind us, day in and day out, that this person is inspiring but just human. He/she is just as miserable as I am. And they do have bad days just like me. Essentially, we have to humanize these idols and this way we stop seeking their validation to an extent.
* drum rolls*
Yours truly has devised, developed, and perfected a technique for the same. It has been tested (just by me) and works good so far. It is simple and all you need is your mind to implement. BOOM! Your mind humanizes your idol and stops putting them on a pedestal all of a sudden.
I have named it ‘The Dump Technique’. Hear me out and read about it fully before passing your judgements on me. This can be a bit quirky and let’s just say ‘out of bounds’. But, hey, it works like magic.
The ‘Dump’ Technique By Yours Truly
What is the most human thing according to you?
When I say human thing, this should be common among all the humans. It should cross the boundaries of societal constructs. For instance, if you take caring about fellow beings as a human thing it is not common for every human being. When I googled, I read 1 in 100 people in the world might have antisocial personality disorder (Don’t quote me, that’s just Google). So, the sociopaths and psychopaths of the world won’t be covered under the umbrella of ‘caring about fellow beings’.
This should be universal and no one human being should be an exception. And when it has to be so universal and inclusive, it has to be biological. Something that is absolute necessity for anyone despite their status quo.
Well, with the title and the hint at biology, I am sure you would have pretty much guessed.
I am talking about ‘taking a dump’, ‘doing your duty’, ‘relieving oneself’, ‘doing a whoopsie’!
What connects our species? I ain’t falling for the random motivational speaker bullshit of ‘kindness connects us’. If there is something common among us, crossing geographical, racial, and historical boundaries, it is taking a dump.
Every human around the world wants to relieve themselves in the morning. But, hey, don’t be disgusted. I never understood the disgust for a perfectly biological process. I mean you can openly speak about sex these days. Sex is not as much a taboo today as doing a whoopsie.
So, how are we going to use this fact to bring your ‘idols’ down?
Very simple.
When we have an idol, we all have moments when we feel ‘Maybe I am giving them too much honour, even though they are flawed and problematic sometimes, just like me’. If you haven’t felt that yet, you will have that moment soon. Trust me, it happens. Your idol would show their human side and fuck up at something. And you would feel ‘Awww, but they are just human!’. It’s a good start to de-idolising and humanising someone.
Collect those tiny moments of doubt in your mind and picture your idol waking up on a sunny day. They don’t wake up like this just because they are your idol,
They probably wake up messy annnnddddd…. you guessed right, because nature called. And, just like you and me, they have to go to the loo and sit down on the commode and do their duty. Or they can’t function. Imagine!
I’m not asking you to imagine in a creepy peeping into their toilet way. But, have you ever thought that your idol has to shit and pee just like you everyday.
I can see your visible shock at what you just read. You probably think that it’s a waste of time reading this. But, I bet my ass, that if you had an idol you never even thought about the possibility that they would also shit like a normal human. Sorta takes the glitter outta the idol. You have always thought and believed that they were beyond the boundaries of human biological limits, subconsciously. And breaking that simply breaks the spell of idols. At least, it worked for me.
That girl in your college, you felt was way above your league takes a dump everyday! Go talk! Not so out of your league anymore.
Love Elon Musk? Looking at his work schedule, he probably holds it for a week and takes a huge ass shit at the end of the week.
That intimidating gym bro, whom you always thought was unreachable, is probably constipated from all the protein powder intake. Ohh, imagine his struggles. 😛
Your favourite tiktok influencer isn’t so glittery with filters when he shaites.
Think about it. Your idols are not exempted from biology and therefore they are humans. Don’t put them on a pedestal!
If you hated reading this post, please leave a comment telling me why you find the idea of your idol taking a dump repulsive!
PEAAACEEEE!
Syringe of Thoughts 